Chinese New Year 2009

Been a while since my last entry... Time seems to pass really fast.... Before i knew it chinese new year is over just like that...
this chinese new year had been slightly different for me... Those who know me well will know why... Tried not to really think about it, but came across an old photo album today, and saw a picture of the two of them... Really brought back memories... And i just realised how much i really missed them, even though i didn't say it, even though i didn't show it, but... ya, i really really miss them so much...
Come to think of it, there has been some regrets for me... Not spending enough time with them, not listening to them when they just need a listening ear... and when i saw my grandma on monday, some thoughts ran through my mind too... she comes to my house at least once a month on sundays, but recently, at least since i entered uni, when she comes visiting, i'm either asleep or already outside... it's been a while since i last saw her... And when i finally see her on monday, i just realised how much she has changed, and i never knew... she used to be so fit and strong, and now she cannot even walk for long... she used to shop for new year goodies and carry them back home all by herself, but this time she can only carry little by little... and her teeth are slowly dropping off... Are these signs to tell? i really don't know... i'm feeling afraid... really... afraid that i might experience the same thing again... the feelings i had for my grandpa's case... i'm afraid i no longer know how to face it... i'm afraid i no longer have the strength...
This has been an emo post, even though it shouldn't be, but i just can't help it... this chinese new year has really been different for me...